[The following conversation took place just minutes ago between myself and my dear friend Alexis of Funemployment Blog fame. Tough times indeed.]
Kev: how's Nana?
Alexis: she's okay
she cried twice today
:(
she's getting really depressed
Kev: oh jesus alexis that's horrible
i'm sorry
Alexis: just the waiting around not knowing when she'll have the surgery and the anticipation of a MAJOR operation
she can't even get to the bathroom on her own without horrible pain
it's not fun
Kev: fuck that's a shot of perspective
Alexis: no kidding
i'm so grateful for my health
Kev: your health, your youth, your life...
so many things to be grateful for in the face of that
Alexis: yeah, no kidding
oy- anyway
Kev: you at starbucks?
Alexis: indeed
Kev: i heard they laid people off
which is just shocking
microsoft, starbucks and just today, farm equipment manufacturing company Caterpillar
Caterpillar Alexis! Caterpillar!
Alexis: aww crap!
Kev: i know
Alexis: They were my safety company!
Kev: totally
me too
now i'm FUCKED
Alexis: if all else failed, i thought i would at least be able to break the tractor marketing industry
shit
Kev: yep
your nana has it easy compared to this shit
Alexis: yeah, right?!
Kev: RIGHT
Showing posts with label deplorable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deplorable. Show all posts
your jazz, an unsent letter to a former boss
Your jazz is soft; it is unobtrusive and silky. It is David Sanborn,
it is George Benson, it is Songs in the Key of G. With a genteel
patina all shiny and slick, your jazz is "lite," with a "t-e" not a
"g-h-t."
The instruments of your jazz are bend-less saxophones, synth bass and
the "vibe" setting on an electric piano. Self-effacing, modest and
shy, your jazz fills dentist waiting rooms, supermarket freezer isles
and the escalator well at Nordstrom Rack.
Your jazz is warm but not hot; it is cool but not cold. It is music
for neutral moments; a mauve background for in-between times.
Your jazz is the soundtrack to the first ring of the seventh circle of
hell and should be forced upon no soul-possessing person, most
importantly and specifically, your co-worker.
Take heed.
it is George Benson, it is Songs in the Key of G. With a genteel
patina all shiny and slick, your jazz is "lite," with a "t-e" not a
"g-h-t."
The instruments of your jazz are bend-less saxophones, synth bass and
the "vibe" setting on an electric piano. Self-effacing, modest and
shy, your jazz fills dentist waiting rooms, supermarket freezer isles
and the escalator well at Nordstrom Rack.
Your jazz is warm but not hot; it is cool but not cold. It is music
for neutral moments; a mauve background for in-between times.
Your jazz is the soundtrack to the first ring of the seventh circle of
hell and should be forced upon no soul-possessing person, most
importantly and specifically, your co-worker.
Take heed.
Hoverboards, Creationism and the sad sad tale of Kirk Cameron’s decent into Delusion
Ok, walk with me for a second. This morning I read that the original hoverboard prop from Back to the Future II is being auctioned off on Ebay with a starting bid of 30 thousand dollars. I clicked through and sure enough, it’s true. 30K for this piece of wood:
If you’re as big a fan of this movie as I am (clearly, I am a HUGE fan), the fact that the hoverboard from Back to the Future II is in fact a piece of wood might really piss you off. Why? Because we were once told otherwise. By Kirk FUCKING Cameron.
You see, around the time that BTHFII and BTHFIII came out, Kirk Cameron, former best friend to Boner, appeared in a farce of a documentary called “Secrets of the Back to the Future Trilogy.” Now, perhaps due to the absurd mind-fuck it implanted in the brains of adolescent boys across the country, footage of this documentary has all but vanished from the interweb. But I assure you, friends, it did happen; here’s its IMDB page and here’s a still from a now-removed YouTube clip:
In this riCOCKulous made-for-TV fraud, Mr. Cameron had the gall to tell everyone watching that Matell had invented real, working hoverboards, but that “parents groups”, concerned for the safety of their offspring, had them banned for eternity. Needless to say, this sent my little 12 year old brain, and millions like it across the country, into a drooling, panting, hoverboard-wanting frenzy for YEARS to come. It wasn’t until the trilogy finally made it out to DVD in 2005 that the whole thing was put to bed in a far more reputable (and factual!) making-of documentary, helmed by a thankfully nameless and faceless narrator. For that, I say FUCK YOU KIRK CAMERON.
It’s only fitting, then, that a man capable of propagating such an impudent and unadulterated sham upon the populous would later in life become a creationist. Creationism and its stupefyingly obtuse doppelganger Intelligent Design, are, after all, the most ludicrous theories to ever poison mankind. But what’s really shocking here is not that Mikey Seev-ah has become a god-fearing agent of indoctrination for some dumb church, it’s that he has done so with such incredible idiocy. Have a click through a “Kirk Cameron” search on YouTube for some of this jackass' remarks, or better yet, watch the clip below, and try not to shed a tear for what the once-beloved son of Carol and Mike has become.
If you’re as big a fan of this movie as I am (clearly, I am a HUGE fan), the fact that the hoverboard from Back to the Future II is in fact a piece of wood might really piss you off. Why? Because we were once told otherwise. By Kirk FUCKING Cameron.
You see, around the time that BTHFII and BTHFIII came out, Kirk Cameron, former best friend to Boner, appeared in a farce of a documentary called “Secrets of the Back to the Future Trilogy.” Now, perhaps due to the absurd mind-fuck it implanted in the brains of adolescent boys across the country, footage of this documentary has all but vanished from the interweb. But I assure you, friends, it did happen; here’s its IMDB page and here’s a still from a now-removed YouTube clip:
In this riCOCKulous made-for-TV fraud, Mr. Cameron had the gall to tell everyone watching that Matell had invented real, working hoverboards, but that “parents groups”, concerned for the safety of their offspring, had them banned for eternity. Needless to say, this sent my little 12 year old brain, and millions like it across the country, into a drooling, panting, hoverboard-wanting frenzy for YEARS to come. It wasn’t until the trilogy finally made it out to DVD in 2005 that the whole thing was put to bed in a far more reputable (and factual!) making-of documentary, helmed by a thankfully nameless and faceless narrator. For that, I say FUCK YOU KIRK CAMERON.
It’s only fitting, then, that a man capable of propagating such an impudent and unadulterated sham upon the populous would later in life become a creationist. Creationism and its stupefyingly obtuse doppelganger Intelligent Design, are, after all, the most ludicrous theories to ever poison mankind. But what’s really shocking here is not that Mikey Seev-ah has become a god-fearing agent of indoctrination for some dumb church, it’s that he has done so with such incredible idiocy. Have a click through a “Kirk Cameron” search on YouTube for some of this jackass' remarks, or better yet, watch the clip below, and try not to shed a tear for what the once-beloved son of Carol and Mike has become.
Great Scott Indeed! (or Why You shouldn't buy Nike products)
We here at D/B are Back to the Future fanatics and as such, we can't allow ourselves to sit idly by as Nike shits upon Marty McFly's (future) legacy. To release our hero's sweet-ass-kicks 7 years prematurely and omit their most essential feature, the super-duper auto-laces, is unacceptable.
It is for that reason that D/B is hereby advocating a ban on all Nike products. We may have forgiven them for their sweat-shoppy ways, but to disparage a cultural touchstone like Back to the Future II is simply inhuman.
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